


grassy hills and dreams

by Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers



Series: Chronicles of a Heartbroken Few [5]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work
Genre: (not canon tho), Canon Compliant, He's been waiting for six years to embrace his boyf and HE WILL, I don't want to hurt him, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:55:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers/pseuds/Ember_Eyes_are_for_Tigers
Summary: Six years have went by and Cornelius, the real one, finds himself staring up at the sky before a trip down to the Material Plane.
Relationships: Cornelius of the Spring Court / James | Cornelius
Series: Chronicles of a Heartbroken Few [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607527
Kudos: 4





	grassy hills and dreams

Cornelius sits on a grassy hill, a light breeze going through his brown hair, he stares at the green surrounding him, the vibrant pink and purple flowers and the bumblebees tumbling on them, the bright blue sky and the white clouds that have no shape, and he sighs.

He’s so tired. And, he should be.

He closes his eyes and tries not to imagine how much six years may have changed James. It’s been something he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about recently. 

One day he had woken up and when he saw himself in the mirror of the bathroom he still shared with Asier, he realised, with dawning horror, that even if he did find James, he wouldn’t recognise him. The last time they had seen each other it had been a couple days after James’ fifteenth birthday and,  _ goodness _ , they had been so  _ young _ . And, so stupid.

(He had spent the last six years regretting being so dumb and so useless.)

At the time his horns had not yet fully grown, his freckles were far more lighter than what they currently were, he had been so  _ tiny _ and-

Would James hate him if he saw him again? Would he remember Cornelius and would he let him back into his life? Why had he not found a way back home? 

Why had he not tried to get back to  _ him _ ?

He sighs, opening his eyes at the seemingly endless hills, to the horizon that is mixed with green, brown and that stunning blue of the sky that makes his heart ache, and wish to not remember why it’s his favourite colour.  ~~ It’s because his eyes are blue. ~~

Cornelius is used to falling down the rabbit hole of unanswered questions that have been tormenting for what feels like forever. And, he wonders if they will stop if he finds him, or if they’ll just turn into other questions he can’t answer. And, other tears he can’t heal.

But, it’s not the time for worry, or anxiety. 

He and Asier, who had been helping him even before he became a full fledged knight for the Crown, had found a possible lead a couple months ago and they had also discovered about Eriaki’s involvement. She is one of the most capable and the most terrifying of the Crown’s Knights (except maybe for Asier when he returns after a twenty seven hour training session) and if that wasn’t even to ring a bell of worry, the fact that she is a known spy and the whole mission had been kept a secret, is a clue in itself. 

Tomorrow he was supposed to go through the threshold that separated the Feywild with the Material Plane and then he might see him again. Might.

This was the closest they had ever come to track him down, nevertheless, six years had passed and Cornelius couldn’t quite trust himself in having too much faith. 

(He wished he had more, but, every time he looked in the mirror it was a remainder that time was passing and he should start moving forward. That he was trapped in the past, in the ghost of a boy he believed he loved.)

(But, what was love when you were young?)

Cornelius doesn’t let himself feel overwhelmed, he doesn’t let himself cry. Tears are for afterwards, when he’ll stumble back home empty handed and he’ll sob as Asier holds him, as he hopes that he’ll wake up. 

He inhales and exhales, trying to even his nerves, as he looks at the clouds and the childish voice in his mind wonders what it would be like to jump on them. He knows he would fall, as clouds are nothing but water, and yet he can’t stop imagining the feeling of falling on something soft. 

And, despite himself, he can’t stop himself from imagining holding a pale white hand in his own bright yellow one, a couple of oranges freckles dotting it, as two laughs join together.

He closes his eyes and the same voice that has always tormented him, for as long as he can remember, wonders.  _ Why do you even try? Why are you still searching for someone you lost six years ago? _

The answer, like every time, persists.  _ Because I love him and I will continue to, no matter the cost. _


End file.
